- An anxious mother's concern about her 2.5 yrs child was that the child shouldn't end up having her traits that is being socially awkward, anxious and avoidant. At the same time she said I want my child to be the FAVORITE OF ALL THE TEACHERS, NEIGHBORS AND RELATIVES, EVERYONE and I teach her to be so.
- This very idea is so irrational and the root cause of seeding anxiety into the child. This can get the child in fixed situations in reality where it is impossible to please everyone and get everyone's validation all the time.
- Since the child is not taught to deal with rejections or is only given a single option where "absolute liking" is the ideal, its very easy for the child to connect his sense of self worth to these external approvals and hence ends up being unassured and lacking in self confidence.
- We should not be imposing such irrational compulsions on children but rather teach them to process disapproval's, express disappointments and be self assured despite rejections.
By Dr. Priyanka Raut